& How it Can Help You

Relational psychotherapy involves being listened to and heard. It involves empathy and understanding.

That sounds pretty simple, but it works. Distress changes and lessens when we have someone we trust to talk openly to, when we don’t fear judgment. In talking to a relational psychotherapist stress can become easier to bear, and ambitions and goals in life can become clearer. Problems and confusions in relationships (romantic, familial, or otherwise) become clearer, as well as those self defeating patterns that seem to plague us over and over in our lives. Together with the therapist, insight is gained into ourselves, and our difficult feelings and emotions become “processed” into something more manageable.

Relational psychotherapy can help with anxiety and depression, even though medication has been prescribed. Being able to talk to a therapist, having emotional and personal support, coupled with reflective conversations, can help in coping with anxiety and/or depression and with how these impact our lives.

The same is true for anything that impacts our lives and our sense of self. Physical ailments, for example. Though the ailment itself may be treated, how we feel emotionally may need attention, as well. Physical ailments can impact our independence, our sense of mortality, make us feel weak and vulnerable. Being able to talk about these vulnerabilities can make it more bearable.

Relational therapy is also good for short(er) term issues that we need help overcoming: Relationship breakups, divorces, loss of job, changes in career, adapting to new homes, are some examples. Any life transition that leaves us feeling confused and unmoored can benefit from talking like this.

Relational psychotherapy is well suited to dealing with stuff from our childhood—including abuse and trauma—that has left us feeling bereft, confused, shame ridden, unworthy, sad, despair or filled with rage. Having someone who can listen and hold the stories of trauma, and how it impacts life, can help in feeling human—like a whole person—again.

A relational psychotherapist won’t impose specific goals or agendas per se. However, s/he will help and support you in the goals you bring. But, you may not know what you goals for therapy are, maybe all you know is that something doesn’t feel right, something feels stuck and wrong. And you may need help to figure out what that’s about.

Relational psychotherapy requires courage to be honest, to be patient, and to be willing to face difficult emotions. This can be hard, but that is what leads to insight, growth, lasting change and relief from the patterns and feelings that cause trouble.

However, you won’t be alone in this, because the therapist will be there to support you. As trust grows with the therapist, the process becomes easier. As this happens life and the world can feel less daunting, and the dark bits inside you grow to feel less alone. With this can come greater confidence in the world, less anxiety and fear, and even increased joy and vitality.

Here are some of the issues relational psychotherapy can help with:

• relationship problems (difficulties being in one, with meeting someone or with breaking up)
• loss, grief, bereavement
• depression, anxiety (or both)
• not being taken seriously in life, chronically misunderstood
• conflicts and misunderstandings in relationships (with partners, spouses, family, friends, colleagues)
• frustration with other people generally
• chronic illness, health issues
• fear of death and dying
• problems with various types of addictions, substance use or otherwise
• trauma (past or recent)
• feelings of unworthiness, worthlessness
• shame
• family of origin issues
• sexual or gender issues
• life changes and transitions
• work and career issues
• creative blocks, challenges
• existential issues
• uncertainty about your purpose and meaning in life